Penn Street vs Elite CC

Penn Street CC                  242-9 (A. Cossins 46, J. Tollerfield 45, T. Peacock 44)

lost to

Elite CC                               268 ao (Palak 85, Chimay 59, Charag 48: R. Jupp 4-49)

by 26 runs

As you may have heard, I got a bang on the head and I can’t remember what happened during the game. Apparently we lost.

The End

Right, now I’ve got your attention, the actual report. A beautiful spring day greeted PSCC for the start of the season, and what better way to start than with a game against our friends from Elite.

New skipper Alistair Cossins won his first toss and inserted the opposition. As he has done for many a year now, Dave Adams began the season with a thunderous spell from the Pub End, putting the fear into opposition batters and his own wicketkeeper (who claimed not to be able to see the ball) alike. Sadly he met with little luck, despite going past the outside edge on several occasions.

The PSCC youth policy was given an early outing, with Rocco Jupp being entrusted with the new ball from the Wood End. What a start he made, with only his second ball being spooned into the hands of Tom Peacock at mid-wicket. In his next over the Elite number three lobbed the ball straight to a backpeddling Pete Jupp at gully, and in the one after that the number four batter somehow kicked the ball onto his own stumps with a backheel that would’ve done many a professional footballer proud. At 25-3 Elite were reeling.

Unfortunately, at this point the PSCC fielding rather began to let them down. Caitlin Macken took over at the Pub End and soon shook off the rustiness of not having bowled for six months and repeatedly beat the bat but also had two catches dropped. One of those drops was unusual for PSCC, with Jupp Snr getting a wrist to the ball at cover when a less-athletic player might not have dived quite so far past it.

At the Wood End Jupp Jnr was withdrawn from the attack after a spell of 5-1-21-3 and replaced by Matt Hewlett, still sporting the ‘diarrhoea trousers’ look from last season. He trucked in gamely up the slope, sparing no effort despite the understandable exhaustion of being a new parent, but met with little luck as the Elite partnership moved inexorably past 50.

Skipper Cossins rang the changes and the Secretary replaced CMAC at the Pub End. It was an experiment which met with even less success than usual, as the Secretary decided to try to catch a straight drive with his head and had to retire for a little sit down. More worryingly, PSCC not only failed to catch the rebound, but allowed the batter to steal a single. At least one fielder claimed to have been distracted by the ‘hollow’ sound that emitted from the Secretary’s bonce, but frankly what were they expecting?

Hewlett finally brought the partnership to an end with a fine delivery which burst through the remaining opener’s attempted drive, whilst James Sempill, who was finally having a bowl after five years of self-denial, removed the other set batter thanks to a fine boundary catch from Adams.

The rest of the innings was a story of Elite regularly losing wickets whilst building up a commanding total thanks to a combination of first-game-of-season PSCC fielding, the extra gap in the field caused by the Secretary’s absence, and a strange policy of bowling short to the Elite number eight, who scored roughly 58 of his 59 runs by pulling short balls to the boundary. Even the return of the Secretary to bring the numbers back up (Messrs Goundar, Knox and even White Snr having declined invitations to replace him) did nothing to help, especially when he committed two misfields and failed to move for a potential catch within the first five minutes.

Amidst all of this, Ed Hulme staked his claim to be regarded as an all-rounder with three wickets, two bowled and one caught, and was on a hat-trick at one point. Sempill picked up another with another fine boundary catch from Adams, and there was just time for Jupp Jnr to wrap up his four-for by bowling the last man.

The total of 268 was significantly more than Elite had ever made at Penn Street, but Peacock and Josh Tollerfield, who we somehow haven’t mentioned by name so far, got the innings off to a rollocking start. Peacock hit his first ball for four and played some lovely shots despite being hampered by a sore back.  Tollerfield, as ever, belied his choirboy looks with some fierce blows and the two of them had taken the score to 72-0 in just the tenth over when disaster fell. Tollerfield had just launched the Elite opening bowler into the woods for the biggest six of the day (and for the second six in two balls) when the umpire foolishly offered an opinion along the lines of “This is unusual, you’re usually rubbish when your girlfriend’s watching”. Duly jinxed, he offered a weak cut at the next ball, got a bottom edge through to the keeper and then stood there doing his best Stuart Broad ‘It wasn’t me, guv’ look for a moment before trudging off.

Peacock was soon to follow him, bowled by one of the few balls of the day to actually turn. Jupp Snr looked in excellent form, playing tall and straight and offering a firm defence to any delivery that looked threatening. It was therefore a surprise when he fell leg before missing a straightish one.

Captain Cossins came in to right the ship and did a sterling job of doing so, ending as top scorer despite finding little support until Hewlett arrived at the crease. Fortified by a snooze amid the kitbags, Penn Street’s answer to Bagpuss backed his captain up superbly (if occasionally a little too enthusiastically when it came to rotating the strike) and deserved to finish 24 not out. However, Cossins’ departure for 46 rather brought the run chase to an end. CMAC’s pink pads proved insufficient distraction for the opposition and Jupp Jnr couldn’t match his bowling heroics with the bat. It was left to the Secretary to ruin someone’s afternoon by hitting more fours off the last over than he managed in the whole of 2024.

What did we learn from the opening match of the season? Well, we learned that you can’t catch the ball with your head, but if you can catch 40 winks it is a good thing. We learned that it is possible to keep wicket if you can’t see the ball and if you can only catch it on the leg side. And we learned that cricket is well and truly back at Penn Street, and boy have we missed it.

PSCC: Tom Peacock; Josh Tollerfield; Pete Jupp; Alistair Cossins (Captain), Ed Hulme, James Sempill, Dave Adams, Matt Hewlett, Caitlin Macken, Rocco Jupp, Richard O’Hagan. Scorer: Cally Sutherland